Witch Child

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Posts by Witch Child

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  15

  My good news!

  by wonderwoman77 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  well all i wanted to tell you that i am still very much happily in love with my girlfriend.

  in fact she just found out she got a job and will be moving down with me in just a few weeks.

  i am so excited.

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  Witch Child

  COngratulations, Wonderwoman! I know how hard it can be being seperated from someone you love. My best wishes to you both and Happy Holidays!!!!

  ~Witch
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  26

  Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

  by Witch Child in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  this is part of someone else's post;.

  "we had a controversy recently related to this.

  our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

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  Witch Child

  Let me start by saying that I respect all the opinions and experience posted in this thread. I'll follow up by saying that Sweet Vampire and I started out as a "casual fling." He was supposed to be leaving the country for 5 years in only 2 weeks. I had ended my terrible and near-sexless marriage 6 months before. I had met Vampire while married and felt like I was struck by lightning when I first laid eyes on him. As a married, good JW I had ignored my reaction and avoided the lad ever since.

  I ran into him at an X-mas party. He got my phone number from someone and called me. We kept making plans to hang out but it kept not happening. Oh well. Then, 3 months past xmas, we made plans to watch a movie together and nothing happened to derail the plans! The chemistry was intense, and I did something very naughty... I had a one night stand. Very out of character for me, but there it is. He called a few days later shocking the heck out of me... I felt I was no prize at all... and I was 7 years older than he, and had kids... and lots of other stuff he couldn't have cared less about. We decided to carry on getting to know each other for his last two weeks in the U.S. Delays turned it into 2 months and we fell hopelessly in love with each other.

  His ticket was bought, his plans were made, his brother was waiting for him overseas... he went. We were both absolute wrecks. We can't figure out how we did it... He drove away, got on a plane and flew away. I managed not to say the unfair words, the words I wanted most to say; "Please, don't go." He called 27 hours later in tears and told me that flying 13,000 miles away had made him realize that he loved me completely. He asked to live with me whenever he would return home. Of course I said yes, I would have given him my eyes if he'd asked, or my liver or all of my blood... no question. He lasted about 2 months before he couldn't stand it anymore. He came home and moved in.

  We had our problems early on. It was a tremendous adjustment for a 22 year old male with no kid experience to take on being a step-dad. My older son made things very difficult just by being himself, poor kid. There were all sorts of problems back then. One of the things that helped the most to make it easier for my Vampire to stay was the fact that he could leave at any time. He said later, looking back on all the difficulties, that when things were really bad (my son out of control, driving us crazy, me stressed and not very attentive to Vampire, him stessed and grumpy as a grizzly bear...) sometimes he would ask himself what the heck was he doing? Why was he putting up with all the hassle when he could easily find a younger, childless woman to be with? It always came back to the fact that he loved me and he wanted to be with me. He said if he'd felt any sort of obligation to be there he thinks he would have left.I knew what he meant because of my disastrous marriage. I'd beaten myself near to death with the bat of commitment, and I grew to resent the living heck out of it. So I think our extended 'trial period' really clarified for us just how very much we wanted a commitment. In our case, it worked out splendidly.

  I am not knocking commitment, hey, we just got married after all, but I'm glad we didn't try to commit too early. If that makes sense to folks. We were always very clear that were exclusive and that we would be totally honest about our feelings, like if they started to change. We lived in my apartment, my lease only. If things didn't work he would stay at his mom's till he got a new place. As a mom with two kids I was securely settled. Within maybe 6 months we had outlasted the worst of it. After a year we both knew we would be together come what may. It took him another year to get the guts up to ask me to marry him. It took me another 3 years to obtain my divorce from the JW ex. We married 2 months after the divorce was final.

  Our marriage is just starting, but we already know we can make it through just about anything. We've been beside each other through the death of one of my dearest friends, his last living grandparent, my last living great-grandparent, the birth of our son, major illnesses for both of us and the kids, moves, temporary poverty, crazy drug problems and mental health issues of family members etc, etc.

  Wow. This is REALLY long!!! I thought I was being brief! Sorry everyone!

  ~Witch, of the loooong-winded class!
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  26

  Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

  by Witch Child in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  this is part of someone else's post;.

  "we had a controversy recently related to this.

  our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

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  Witch Child

  Englishman, I love the word; Fornicatrix... what a riot!

  Thanks Xander, I wasn't blocked... I guess it was a glitch.

  I was looking at that quote again, from Jerry Bergman, and something struck me; not only is it a touch jusgemental about "sin" it also has, perhaps a whiff of snobbery. Great to hear the minister is a great guy... but why would we care which school he graduated from? Or that he has a PHD? Does that somehow elevate his opinions above another human beings? Is it a factor in determining whether a person is a "great guy?" I don't know, maybe I'm just grumpy today, but it seems to me like this poster puts a lot stock in different types of "status."

  I don't need to waste too much time worrying about people who have such narrow ideas. Sorry if I've been whining today. Everyone else is at a private screening of the Two Towers... I'm home with the baby. :(
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  26

  Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

  by Witch Child in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  this is part of someone else's post;.

  "we had a controversy recently related to this.

  our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

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  Witch Child

  ok, NOW I can see them. (???) weird.

  Xander, the invisible friend thing, that is priceless! I absolutely love it.

  Realist, sorry if you haven't found a girl who will stay loyal to you. They are out there. I am always amazed when people cheat on each other... it is so... lacking in heart. I could never betray my Sweet Vampire. Not even if... oh I don't know... say Mel Gibson or whoever showed up dipped in Godiva chocolate! Nope, sorry, this girl is SO taken, can't be bought. Good luck on the hunt!

  ~Witch
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  26

  Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

  by Witch Child in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  this is part of someone else's post;.

  "we had a controversy recently related to this.

  our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

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  Witch Child

  Supposedly there are 3 replies to this post of mine... but I can't see anything but my original post.... What's up with that?
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  26

  Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

  by Witch Child in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  this is part of someone else's post;.

  "we had a controversy recently related to this.

  our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

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  Witch Child

  This is part of someone else's post;

  "we had a controversy recently related to this. Our last pastor (a great guy, a Harvard grad and a Ph.D.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance! In my college teaching we cover the health problems of promiscuous sexual behavior ( it's a major killer) and the problem is as bad in churched as unchurched people. Morals just are not taught in many churches, thus members end up with a large number of broken marriages and all kind of health problems."

  In this post living together is equated with "promiscuous sexual behavior. I am not easily offended.... but this really bothers me. Promiscuous means, in this instance; Indiscriminate in sexual relations... or possibly; lacking standards of selection.

  Well thanks a bunch! I lived with my mate for 5 years before we tied the knot. I was never indiscriminate... I am a one man kind of woman. We were, always were and still are, exclusive, steady, monogamous. I had no more chance coming down with some deadly form of STD than if we had been married. It is ridiculous to assert that unmarried partnership=promiscuity. And insulting.

  And that's my 2 cents on that.

  ~Witch
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  118

  Would some of us be better off as Witnesses?

  by Jerry Bergman in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i have often wondered if many people would be better off if they stayed witnesses.

  some people i have known have really gone off the deep end after they left the watchtower.

  most all of my family have left now (not due to me as i was cut off from them for years) and many others i know who have left are now bitter atheists or have become pagans and worship stones or new ageers playing with crystals.

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  Witch Child

  I'm really glad someone spoke up and called that minister intolerant for refusing to marry persons who share the same address. What is that if not judgmental intolerance?

  I sure am glad we went to the UUs first! The minister who married Sweet Vampire and I was just wonderful. She was completely open to my need to include some Earth-based religion and SW's need to keep it light on the religiousness. She asked if she could include the lighting of the UU chalice just before the ceremony got rolling. I was suprised and pleased when SW said; "sure." He is pretty wary of religion of any kind.

  So us little same address folks got married. The minister made a brief statement that UUs have a tradition of lighting a chalice in their worship and she would now do this. We went through the things we wanted included. My reigion was brought in by my friend standing up and saying a special blessing that subtly called in the elements. Before we knew it, we were married.

  What is the high crime in living together first? Is it a sin? Who says so? What makes him/her the arbiter of all rightness and truth? My first marriage was a joke! We didn't know each other well enough and it fell apart like a snowflake on a hot day... Sweet Vampire and I lived together for over 5 years before we married. We really know each other well and we reccognize each others flaws and love each other anyway. We know we can weather storms and hard times together.

  I sure am glad we found an open-minded minister who woukd consent to marry us! Living apart would have been an ecconomic nightmare!

  Goddess Bless,

  Witch
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  12

  Christmas ideas.., help

  by Brummie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  beside the obvious "mouse trap" or "bird-catcher" gifts, any ideas what can i get my wife for christmas?

  i've thought of a few things but need input.

  ladies whats the nicest gift your hubby brought you for crimp?

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  Witch Child

  My Sweet Vampire has given me many awesome gifts.... hmmmmmm... I would think about your lady for a while. Does she need anything? Has she misplaced her watch lately? Is her pocketbook or coat getting shabby? Could she use a day at a spa? Gift certificates for a maasage or hot tubbing? A romantic evening: dinner at her favorite eatery, followed by a chick-flick and a hot tub and champagne?

  If I was bedridden I'd be wanting to shop!! Does this fellow has internet accesss? Gift certificates to Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble might be cool.

  ~Witch
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  28

  A question for Pagans--what's happening at my hous

  by Kingpawn in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  by now many of you know i'm studying wicca, am in contact with a high priestess of a coven who's graciously answering many questions i have, and i'm also studying tarot cards online.. this past weekend the exercise with lesson three on the tarot was to do some sample readings.

  some odd things have happened since then.

  i bolded them for easier finding.. since then, my youngest daughter and i have heard a scratching sound that i took to be birds on the spouting, though we couldn't see it.

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  Witch Child

  This is a time of year when squirrils and rats grt into peoples walls so they will be warmer... we've got scritchy scratchers too.

  ~Witch
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  38

  Do you really need liquor at a wedding reception?

  by ronin1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is in response to the post on december 10, : "a wedding gone bad"-.

  the question: do you really need liquor at a wedding reception?.

  here is my story:.

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  Witch Child

  I've planned two weddings, one without alcohol and one with. There were many other differences between the two events. The non-alcohol wedding was outdoors in a state park, so alcohol was not allowed... it was essentialy a big picnic and it was over very quickly. My second wedding was much better. We had music and dancing, loads of atmousphere and plenty of alcohol. No one got drunk at either wedding/reception. It works either way.

  One cool thing about both weddings is that they were both potluck. That is just the best. Everyone brings their specialty and therefore the food is amazing!

  Alcohol or no alcohol, it's just a personal choice.

  ~Witch